HAS UP TO THE POINT OF END
Later I will remember, regarding the many laughs that wiped the corners of our eyes, as well as several reasons, which until now have not found a strong reason.
We have reached the limit of stopping, stopping sharing, stopping caring for each other. It's like two opposite sides.
Maybe it's true, the crack in the wound has turned into a gaping hole in the chest, and I've lost my efforts, only to glue it again, let alone recover.
If there had never been flowery days created, or a form of deepest longing with ambiguous jealousy, maybe it wouldn't be this hard not to remember you.
Then you plant doubts in my mind, "which hurts more, together but not forever, or apart to find happiness in another story?"
Then I broke the giddiness in your heart, "I didn't choose one of them, because what hurts the most is when you don't choose me anymore."
And you passed, taking with you the heart and all its steadfastness.
To the memories that keep running in my memory, I say goodbye. Go as far as you can, stay as far away as possible. Never come back, because for the pain of losing you, I haven't found a powerful antidote that can make me heal.
TELAH SAMPAI DI TITIK USAI
Kelak aku akan mengingat, perihal banyak tawa yang menyeka kuyup sudut mata kita, juga beberapa sebab, yang sampai saat ini tak menemui alasan kuat.
Kita telah sampai di batas pemberhentian, berhenti saling berbagi, berhenti saling peduli. Tak ubahnya dua sisi yang saling membelakangi.
Mungkin benar adanya, retak luka itu telah menjelma jadi lubang menganga di dada, dan aku kehilangan upaya, sebatas merekatkan lagi, terlebih-lebih kembali pulih.
Seandainya tak pernah ada hari-hari berbunga yang tercipta, atau sebentuk rindu paling tebu dengan cemburu yang ambigu, mungkin tak sesukar ini untuk tak mengingatmu.
Lantas kamu menanam ragu di benakku, "lebih sakit mana, bersama tapi tak selamanya, atau berpisah untuk mencari bahagia di lain kisah?"
Lalu kupatahkan gamang di jantungmu, "aku tak memilih salah satunya, sebab yang paling menyakiti adalah ketika kamu tak memilihku lagi."
Dan kamu pun berlalu, membawa serta hati beserta seluruh tabahnya.
Kepada kenangan yang terus berlarian di ingatan, kuucapkan selamat jalan. Pergilah sejauh-jauhnya, menjauhlah sehilang-hilangnya. Jangan pernah kembali, sebab untuk sakit kehilanganmu, belum kutemukan penawar ampuh yang bisa membuatku sembuh.